The Bar Mitzvah
Two bees ran into each other. One asked the other how things were going. Really bad, said the second bee, the weather has been really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't...
View ArticleDoes Your Dog Bite
There was a hound dog laying in the yard. An old man in overalls was sitting on the porch. Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite? the tourist asked. The old man replied, Nope. So the tourist stepped...
View ArticleSpecial Pig
Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg? Well Michael, that's a...
View ArticleTWO STORKS
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only...
View ArticleThe Swearing Parrot
One day an elderly pastor confides in his parishioners that he's feeling a bit lonely and depressed. So one of the parishioners suggests to the pastor that he buy a pet. Thinking this a grand idea, the...
View ArticleHelp Wanted
A sign was hung in an office window. It read: Help wanted. Must type 70 words a minute. Must be computer literate. Must be bilingual. An equal opportunity employer. A dog was ambling down the street...
View ArticleWake Up Call
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone. . . Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake, said an angry voice....
View ArticleBear Alert
The California State Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the Yosemite and Mammoth areas. They...
View ArticleA Fish Tale
A big-time negotiator was out fishing one day when he caught a strange looking fish. He reeled the fish in, unhooked it, and threw it on the ground next to him. The fish started writhing in agony and,...
View ArticleTHE FIRE DOG
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. The children started...
View ArticleThe Christian Horse
There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep....
View ArticleHow to Tell the Weather
To Tell the weather, Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably...
View ArticleI'VE GOT A BEAR BEHIND
Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he...
View ArticleHorsing Around
Two horses were walking back to the paddock after a days training. One says to the other I can't understand why we are so slow, we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers, and...
View ArticleIS THAT YOUR DOG?
A timid little man, walked into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter? A giant of a man, wearing...
View ArticleCooking Instructions
According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address...
View ArticleThe Amazing Pet
A man went into a pet shop and told the owner that he wanted to buy a pet. But, he didn't want your ordinary, garden variety pet! No, he wanted a pet that could do everything! The shop owner suggested...
View ArticleTHE LONELY FROG
A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store. His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, You are going to meet a beautiful...
View ArticleTHREE WISHES
A little old lady was in the kitchen one day, washing the dishes when suddenly a little genie appeared beside her. You've led a long and good life the genie said, I have come to reward you by granting...
View ArticleCRUISING WITH THE PENGUINS
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately. The...
View Article
